Random Thoughts

By Jack Smith

While Driving in Waco

You’ve probably seen the ad on TV for The Willow Curve, an “as seen on TV” device to stop pains in your knees or shoulders. It’s a little curved plastic thing that has lights that flash and a digital readout, but you can’t really tell because there are no close-ups. The strange thing is that the ad doesn’t say what it actually does. So I decided to look online and get the full info. The website doesn’t say what it does or how it works either. Very strange. I think that maybe spokesperson Chuck Woolery, former game show host, is pulling the woolery over our eyes.

Here’s a strange question. Why do mirrors reverse left and right but not up and down? Apparently, there are several thoughts about this, but I’m not sure that any are iron clad. It has something to do with a horizontal versus a vertical axis. Maybe. Some say that mirrors don’t really reverse left and right but front to back, or that our mind thinks that what we see is reversed, but it really isn’t. I researched the mirror question online, but I read recently, online, that half of what you read online isn’t true. I didn’t know whether to believe that or not.

My house has a door with an inside handle that won’t stay attached. It’s old, and the holes that hold the screws are worn out. I’ve tried lots of things — toothpicks, putty and glue. The other day I got some new high-powered epoxy, and I thought to myself, “I’m going to fix this once and for all.” The more I thought about it, I’d be happy with fixing it for the fifth time and for six months. My expectations are not set in epoxy.

I was thinking recently that my life is pretty dull because I’m always in pocket. I never seem to be out of pocket. Maybe that’s because I like to think inside the box.

Do we all agree that buffalo wings taste like chicken?

I was watching a college softball game and wondered why girls don’t wear baseball caps. Doesn’t the sun get in their eyes, too? Maybe it’s because of the hair issue. Is it tough to stuff (poetically speaking) a ponytail in a baseball cap?

What’s the difference in a ponytail and a pig tail? Why is ponytail one word and pig tail two words? I guess that there is one ponytail, and it is in the back, and there are two pig tails on the sides. Can you have two ponytails, or does the fact that it’s one word limit you?

I wonder why bookstores have fantasy and self-improvement as two different sections.

I’m told that the state of Maryland recently dropped the requirement of parallel parking to get a driver’s license. The “Old Line State” may be inundated with 16-year-olds. It’s probably not a bad decision. Downtown Waco may be the only place locally where parallel parking skill is still (poetically speaking) needed.

My middle daughter, Claire, had a fun time taking her driver’s test. She was in a parking lot when the DPS officer got in her car with her. A little nervous, she went forward instead of backward and ran over one of those concrete speed bump things in parking lots. She then couldn’t back out. There was an auto parts store across the street, and several guys came out and lifted her car over the concrete barrier. Somehow the DPS trooper stopped laughing long enough to let her pass the test. Don’t know if she could parallel park, but she couldn’t perpendicular park.

IF I WERE KING: Mirrors would not only reverse horizontal images but also age and weight.