Random Thoughts While Driving in Waco

By Jack Smith

Jack can be reached at jwsmith2@flash.net

Well, back in October and the first of November we had wall-to-wall political ads on TV, then we went to almost wall-to-wall Medicare adjustment ads and now Christmas. You know it’s Christmastime when you see men’s razor ads. Don’t worry, full-time drug and lawyer ads will be back soon.

Speaking of TV ads, KFC advertises a bucket of chicken and sides full meal for the family. The cool thing about it is that its cost is $20. Not $19.95, but 20 rounded out dollars. What a neat concept. Next thing you know a 55-cent stamp will be 60 cents.

A couple of months ago, I mentioned that I had shaken hands with five presidents. A few asked about that, so here is how that happened. Back in the late ’50s a local family invited me to go to a UT football game in Austin, and prior to the game there was a reception line for LBJ. Then in 1978, I ran for the state legislature as a Republican and got a phone call asking if I would like to meet Ronald Reagan and have my picture taken with him. Well, you bet. I drove to Brownwood and met Mr. Reagan. Then in about 1981, Jimmy Carter came to TSTC to do interviews with area TV stations. I was working at KWTX and was sent as the cameraperson. We got all set up, and Mr. Carter came in and immediately moved to shake hands with everyone. He was very nice. Then Governor Bush invited me to come to his office for a visit and photo. He showed me his collection of baseballs, which covered a pretty good section of a hallway. Then at some time, I was at a Republican event in Temple and shook hands with the elder Bush. None of them were president when I met them.

San Francisco has finally passed a law outlawing urination and defecation in public. They say that it’s their No. 1 and No. 2 priorities.

Speaking of California, I heard that two trucks filled with avocados crashed into each other on a California highway. Luckily, CHIPS was on the scene very quickly.

After a very long and boring sermon, the parishioners filed out of the church saying nothing to the preacher. Toward the end of the line was a thoughtful person who always commented on the sermons. “Pastor, today your sermon reminded me of the peace and love of God.” The pastor was thrilled: “No one has ever said anything like that about my preaching before. Tell me why.” “Well, it reminded me of the peace of God because it passed all understanding and the love of God because it endured forever!”

So anyway, if you were born in September, October or November, a study of a million people in Germany says that you will live longer. About 6 months longer than those born in the spring. One guess is that pregnant women have better diets (more vitamins) if their last months of pregnancy are in the summer. This is useless information, of course, because if you are reading this, your birthdate is pretty well already established. You might alter your birth certificate, but you can’t fool Mother Nature. So the only benefit this information has is that you can plan to have your children born in the autumn, which means, if you don’t want to do the math yourself, that the child should be conceived in December, January or February. Time is short. Take heed.

IF I WERE KING: You would have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and the year 2020 would be thrown in the dumpster fires of history.

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