Random Thoughts While Driving in Waco

By Jack Smith

Jack can be reached at jwsmith2@flash.net

Due to COVID-19, many businesses were forced to close. One news article I read said that such-and-such would be closed for good. That’s a standard, common phrase, but I wonder why things close for “good.” These days they are being closed for bad. Saying closed forever would be more appropriate.

I had wondered during the initial pandemic days how long it would take for TV commercials to reflect the changes in our lives. Well, it didn’t take long. Many of the new commercials were very well done, but most were similar (We’re all in this together), which is natural since they all reflected the same facts. I am now wondering how long it will be before the commercials will return to normal. When we do, I guess.

I think we are all ready to forget the “new normal” and go back to the old abnormal.

Someone mentioned that we should social distance with our pets. Obviously that someone doesn’t own a dog. Cats might be up for it.

My plan to teach my dog to sneeze into her elbow didn’t work out.

A friend said he was going on a car trip with a pilot. He said they sat in his driveway for 30 minutes for no reason before he backed out.

“The Young and the Restless” has been on television now for 47 years. You would think that most of the cast would be Old and Rested like me.

I have been so inactive lately that I think I may hire someone to wear my Fitbit.

I know many more people who can make a short story long than those who can make a long story short.

I realize that I am a little obsessive about using correct grammar. Maybe I don’t suffer from full blown obsessive-compulsive disorder, but I do have enough OCD to be irritating to others. It comes from my father who was also obsessed. He would immediately correct me whenever I broke a grammar rule. It seems that the use of “I” and “me” caused frequent problems, but I soon learned that lesson, as did my children. I am amazed at how many people in the media and those being interviewed can’t get the I/me rule right. It’s not that hard.

Another pet peeve is people saying, “We’ve come a long ways.” One of my favorite national reporters said it recently. From how many ways can you come? I’m pretty sure you can only come a long way.

A friend of mine was very proud that he had been appointed to the Ouija Board of Directors. It could have been the Ironing Board of Directors.

It’s been decades since I’ve seen or heard about a Ouija board. I wonder if they are still sold. (I Googled it, and you can get one on Amazon for $19.95.) The Ouija board, also known as a spirit board or a talking board, was invented in 1890, but mentions of automatic writing were found in China back to 1100 A.D. It was considered a harmless board game until spiritualists began to think they could communicate with the dead (or vice-versa) during WWI. Several Christian denominations criticized boards. Perhaps the most recent was in 2001 when a fundamentalist group in Alamogordo, New Mexico, burned Ouija boards along with Harry Potter books for being “symbols of witchcraft.” As I recall, I was not good at manipulating the board and couldn’t make much sense of it. I guess I wasn’t spiritual enough. So maybe I’ll never be a witch. Are there male witches, or do males have to be warlocks? I witch I knew.

IF I WERE KING: Businesses that were closed for bad would be open for good.