Random Thoughts While Driving in Waco

By Jack Smith

Jack can be reached at jwsmith2@flash.net

What generation are you, and what exactly is a generation? A generation is generally about 25 or 30 years, they say. The Greatest Generation, a term coined by Tom Brokaw, was the men and women who won WWII and were probably born in the early ’20s. After that, I’m not sure if all generations have been given names until recently. Millennials (aka Generation Y) were born in the early ’80s preceded by Generation X. What comes after millennials? Generation Z seems to be the most used term. Gen Z folks were born in the mid-1990s to mid-2000s and are also known as Generation Snowflake. Each is alike but different and very special according to their helicopter parents.

So why did I bother looking this generation stuff up? I read an article that said, “Gen Z is blowing open the market for men’s makeup.” And I’m not making that up. Companies are targeting younger males who were raised with less rigid gender boundaries. Bloomberg News reports: “L’Oréal and Estée Lauder, as well as smaller brands and startups, are beginning to develop and market color cosmetics aimed specifically at men.” And we (old folks) thought millennials were screwed up.

I can’t decide what makeup I would use. Base? Blush? Foundation? Eye liner? Rouge? I don’t even know what they are all called. I think that the next time I will have on makeup, I’ll be in my coffin.

We visited Mount Rushmore a while back. It is impressive. South Dakota is really beautiful in early summer. Mount Rushmore, I learned, was designed by a man named Gutzon Borglum. It occurred to me that his name spelled backwards would be Noztug Mulgrob. I’m not sure which I like better.

Our planned four-day vacation (a family reunion) turned into a 2 1/2 day vacation because of two canceled flights. We spent two nights without luggage. It was terrible service and I don’t want to name the airline, but it was an American Airline.

While driving from Deadwood, South Dakota, toward the Badlands, we passed through a small town where I saw a sign advertising a local festival. The only words I could read on the sign, the larger words, said Testicle Festival. I had never heard that term. When I got home I Googled it, and sure enough, I found listings for festivals in at least 10 states, including Iowa, Indiana and Illinois. There must be something about “I” states. There’s no I in team, but there is in testicle. Cows and turkeys are contributing factors with a large amount of beer. One of the advertisements said to come and have a ball. Oh well, let’s blame it on Gen Z’ers.

Speaking of beer, for a chemist, alcohol is not a problem, it’s a solution.

I enjoyed an entertainer recently who pointed out that no matter how much weight a chicken gains, it doesn’t show in its face.

I was a terrible student when it came to spelling or geography, but I was always pretty good in math. You notice highway signs that say things like, “Hillsboro 16 miles in 15 minutes.” It lets you know how traffic is moving, or not moving. I recently saw one that said “17 miles in 13 minutes.” I wanted to figure out what your average speed would be to do that. If you were going 60 mph, 17 miles would take 17 minutes, but how fast to do it in 13 minutes? I gave up. Someone can email me the answer and formula. Thanks.

IF I WERE KING: Men wearing makeup would be like chickens gaining weight. It wouldn’t show on their faces.

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