Random Thoughts While Driving in Waco

By Jack Smith

Jack can be reached at jwsmith2@flash.net

PSomeone recently suggested that I might take Geritol to increase my energy. That person did not like me. Geritol tastes terrible. It’s gag-inducing. But, who knows, it might work. When thinking of Geritol, I thought of Hadacol. I didn’t remember exactly what it was, but a medicine from the past. I looked it up. It was a patent medicine marketed as a vitamin supplement starting in 1943. It was popular in the South, especially in dry counties where you couldn’t buy liquor. Hadacol had a 12 percent alcohol content. It folded in the ’50s. The joke at the time was, “Why did they name it Hadacol?” The answer: “They had a call it something.”

Never trust an atom. They make up everything.

Listening to an obituary on television of a famous person, it was said that she was beloved. I wondered what the difference was between loved and beloved. Not much apparently, but maybe beloved is more loved than just plain loved. I can see a conversation between an engaged couple. “I love you.” “I love you more.” “No, I love you more.” “I belove you.” “OK, you win.”

A friend said his stomach was flat, but the L was silent.

During the blizzard of February 2019 (we had some sleet at my house), I heard a new weather word for the first time. The term was “graupel.” Turns out we didn’t have sleet, we had graupel. Coulda fooled me. What is graupel? Small droplets of frozen water smashed together with snowflakes. Sleet pellets are translucent ice pellets which, they say, you can easily distinguish from graupel when you look at them side to side. For some reason, I’ve never seen or put a sleet pellet and a graupel thingy side to side. Maybe top to bottom would be easier. I’ll wait for the next blizzard. Maybe at the Dairy Queen.

Sometime soon we’ll hear or read that something is the harbinger of spring. What is a harbinger? It’s a forerunner or precursor. Something that indicates what will happen next. If you were going to be a harbinger, what would you harbinge about?

I think it was Yogi Berra who said, “It’s very difficult to make predictions, especially about the future.”

If someone curses before you do, are they a precurser?

Speaking of spring (three paragraphs up), we often hear that someone is going to spring into action. In my case, I might slowly rise into action or maybe semi-spring into inaction.

Today, I’m going to give it my some.

Virginia Governor Ralph Northam was caught doing something really stupid in med school and lots of folks demanded his resignation. He says he won’t resign (at least at the time this is written), and he wants to defend his good name. I think that Ralph is just an average name, not necessarily good.

Speaking of governing, I think that our president runs a tight shipwreck.

A friend said that he had ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. He’ll let us know.

A very popular phrase these days is “throwing shade.” Seems like someone is frequently throwing shade at someone else. What does it mean? Throwing shade is a subtle way of disrespecting or ridiculing someone verbally or nonverbally. In the summers, in Texas, I would appreciate people throwing shade at me. Bring it on.

IF I WERE KING: We would be so beloved that no one would ever throw shade at us.

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