Random Thoughts while Driving in Waco

By Jack Smith

In the November Republican debate

Senator Marco Rubio said it is wrong for America’s educational system to devalue vocational skills training. He said welders make more money than philosophers and we need “more welders and less philosophers.” (“Fewer” philosophers would have been grammatically correct, but who’s judging?) Some in the media contested that claim, citing government and internet sources. These sources said that while both welding graduates and philosophy graduates started out at about $40,000 a year, after 20 years or so, philosophers were making $80,000 a year versus welders who were making only $50,000 a year. I’ve heard that TSTC students, who learn underwater welding, start out at about $100,000 a year. (Wonder how long they have to be able to hold their breath?) I also think graduates of TSTC welding programs can instantly get a good job and may have employers competing for their skills. Not so sure about recent graduates with a philosophy degree. Their first job may have them asking, “Why do you want fries with that?”

Apparently, the philosophers who are making $80,000 a year are college professors or instructors. If you have a philosophy degree, and your main goal is to teach philosophy, what have we accomplished? Philosophically speaking, give me a good welder.

We were recently hanging some pictures and rearranging some furniture. I made some reasonable suggestions which Vicki dismissed out of hand. She said that I might have a future career as an inferior decorator.

Vicki doesn’t mince words. What does that mean? I looked it up. “Mince” means to cut or chop into small pieces, as in minced garlic. So if you don’t mince words, you don’t cut them into small pieces? Well, the third definition says mince could mean “to moderate for the sake of politeness.” That’s not happening. When I argue with Vicki, my arguments end up as mincemeat.

There are two ways to argue with women. Neither of them works.

Vicki recently gave me a compliment, I think. She said I was her knight in rusted armor.

The World Health Organization (WHO) said eating bacon, sausage or processed meat could cause colorectal cancer. WHO do they think they are? They put some of my favorite meats in the same cancer risk level with smoking and plutonium. What is processed meat? Meat that has been modified to change the taste or shelf life, like bacon, sausage, hot dogs, salami, ham, jerky and corned beef. In other words, meats that tastes great. The risk from eating a lot of processed meat is about 3 percent the danger of smoking. I think maybe they confused smoking meat and smoking cigarettes. WHO knows? Bureaucrats, that’s WHO.

The latest non-crisis is the Starbucks red cup. Who cares if your $7 cup of coffee has a Christmas design on it? Then again, at that price you might expect a Christmas video along with it.

Again, my favorite study is the one that said there are too many studies.

Did you see this quote online? It said, “The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you never know if they are genuine.” It was attributed to Abraham Lincoln.

It’s kind of hard to imagine, but what if you were somebody’s imaginary friend?

Hope you all have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

IF I WERE KING: TSTC would create a new course: Philosophy of Welding.

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