Paramedic Larry Johnson’s memoir, “Into the Fire: A Paramedic’s Battle with Waco and the Aftermath,” details his struggles with PTSD, primarily as a result of the 51-day Branch Davidian siege that he worked 33 years ago.
Johnson began working in emergency medical services in 1978. He was promoted to the CareFlite Dallas helicopter crew in 1989, a highly competitive position, as the chosen paramedics are considered elite in caring for trauma patients.
“I was working February 28, 1993, which was a Sunday morning,” recalled Johnson. “Sundays are generally slow; Saturday nights are the crazy shifts, especially in Dallas. I was looking forward to a nice start to Sunday and next thing you know, the radio dispatcher announced a mass casualty event in Waco with multiple shooters and multiple down. We headed to Waco immediately.”
The medical personnel had very little information when they landed but soon realized that it was a federal event. To Johnson it looked like a battlefield. He was tasked with taking care of the wounded and dying over the next 51 days.
What affected Johnson the most were the faces of the children at the compound. He had a 3-year-old son at the time, which made it more personal.
“David Koresh released some children as bargaining tools in order to have airtime to preach the word of God,” said Johnson. “The children who were released looked like zombies, and to this day it still gets to me. They were brought to us at Connally Air Force Base for care. One 5-year-old girl I saw was fascinated by running water, which she had never seen.”
Johnson also witnessed what happened to the remains of children after the complex was burned following the standoff. He still has nightmares from what he saw that day.
Johnson, who is currently an EMS commander in New Mexico, has spent more than 50 years in emergency medical services. He helped pioneer Columbia One Dallas, the nation’s first all-paramedic critical care flight-transport program.
His experiences in Waco and the cumulative effect of sustained trauma exposure over his career gave him what we know now as PTSD, but that wasn’t a common diagnosis when he first exhibited symptoms. He found solace in writing about his experiences.
In 2017, Johnson was waiting for his wife, Dr. Lorie Johnson, at that time an English professor at Baylor University, to finish her classes.
“I was sitting at Common Grounds drinking a strong cup of coffee, when I got a notepad and a pencil and started writing, trying to deal with a lot of the issues I was having with PTSD,” said Johnson. “I stopped and took long breaks over the last nine years but finally finished the book.”
To Johnson’s knowledge, there have been no memoirs written by a medical professional about the events at Waco. He decided to write a memoir rather than a journalistic-style book because over 900 first responders were there during the standoff and each person had a difference experience. The book hit number one in the emergency medicine category on Amazon and is still in the top 10 in that category.
Johnson hopes “Into the Fire” will help others in the medical field who are dealing with PTSD.
“The title of the book has two meanings,” Johnson explained.” One is literal: the fire of April 19. But also, for first responders, paramedics, firefighters and police officers, every time they go to work, they’re walking into the fire.
He is grateful that more is being done to address the mental and emotional toll on first responders.
“A lot of my field crew members have come in and talked to me about the book and shared their own experiences with PTSD,” said Johnson. “Our office hired a full-time social worker who is there to make sure what happened to me doesn’t happen to our new EMS workers. My door is always open, and I have a lot of hallway conversations from individuals who have had some issues with the emotional strain of their jobs. My book has helped start conversations.”
Several large EMS magazines including EMS World and EMS1 have published book excerpts or articles written by Johnson. An article in D Magazine is forthcoming.
Johnson is writing a follow-up book called “After the Fire” about the controversies following the Branch Davidian siege. He plans to visit Waco to discuss this book in the spring.
Johnson will be at Fabled Bookshop on October 10 from 3-5 p.m. to sign copies of “Into the Fire.”
