Random Thoughts while Driving in Waco

By Jack Smith

In recent months I have paid less time and attention to

The national news because it seems to be mostly bad news and it’s depressing. The news anchors used to start with the Top Story of the Day. Now they start with the Bottom Story of the Day and go down from there.

There are so many scandals that it’s hard to keep up with. Which politician will resign next? Some politicians (and maybe Hollywood types) say that they are victims of a witch hunt. Is that appropriate for men? Shouldn’t it be a warlock hunt? Why would you hunt for a witch or a warlock anyway? What would you do if you caught one?

Still speaking of the news, are bombshells slippery? It seems like someone in the news is dropping one every day.

Do you know which state has the most windmills (or wind turbines)? It’s Texas. While thought of as an oil and gas state, we produce more wind power than any other state. The main complaint against those huge wind turbines is that they kill birds. Have you ever seen one working? They turn so slowly that I think any dead bird must have committed suicide. The birds may have been depressed from watching the news.

There was a list put out of the most popular names for babies in 2017. It said the most popular boy name was Atticus. Really? Did “To Kill a Mockingbird” have a major comeback? No. 2 was Asher, and No. 3 was Jack. Others were Theodore, Jasper, Milo, Oliver and Silas. For baby girls, the most popular name was Olivia followed by Cora, Amelia, Charlotte, Isla and Isabella. I guess I don’t know too many babies. Certainly none named Isla or Milo.

I noticed that Belk had a big sale. Men’s items were “Buy One, Get One Free.” Women’s items were 50 percent off. This is basically the same result, but some marketer decided that men and women respond to different selling concepts. Maybe men don’t mind buying two of something while women want to just buy one. Except for shoes, of course.

Does the “Buy One, Get One Free” concept apply to Congressmen?

Vicki says that going shopping with me is like going hunting with a game warden.

Are you afraid of terrorism or the threat of a nuclear attack? I used to think that we were safe in Central Texas. Other than maybe Fort Hood, why would anyone want to attack us? Well things may have changed. Waco is now one of the cultural centers of the U.S. If the crazies in North Korea watch HGTV, heck, the Silos could be a target. A nuclear silo? Sounds familiar.

Are you left-handed? Only 10 percent of the population is, but 14 percent of U.S. presidents have been left-handed. The first two were James Garfield and Herbert Hoover. Not a great recommendation and only two in the first 144 years of our country. Two out of 32. But out of the last 13 presidents, six have been left-handed. Truman, Ford, Reagan, GHW Bush, Clinton and Obama. That’s 46 percent. Wonder why? It could be a southpaw plot. On the other hand, what’s right is right.

When we say something is “world-class” we mean it’s outstanding. But maybe with the shape of the world today, world-class isn’t such a good deal anymore. Maybe we could change the expression to Texas-class.

IF I WERE KING: All the Congress critters who should resign would resign. Then we would have to change the rules about a quorum. It would become two-thirds of those present, if three remained.

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